Supporting Your Spouse in Retirement: When One Works and One Doesn't

As the working spouse, you're now the primary income source. Here's how to manage this responsibility.

• **Cover household expenses:** Your salary becomes the main source for bills and day-to-day costs
• **Healthcare coverage:** Your employer plan likely covers your retired spouse
• **Preserve their savings:** Minimize withdrawals from their accounts to let them grow
• **Continue your 401k contributions:** Max out your retirement savings while still earning
• **Transparent finances:** Keep both spouses informed about income, expenses, and savings
• **Avoid "my money" thinking:** It's household money regardless of who earns it

Retirement is a major life transition. Your retired spouse may struggle with identity, purpose, and loneliness.

• **Validate their experience:** Retirement adjustment is real, even if they chose to retire
• **Don't minimize struggles:** "You don't even have to work" dismisses real challenges
• **Encourage activities:** Support their hobbies, volunteering, and social connections
• **Listen without solving:** Sometimes they need to vent, not receive advice
• **Celebrate milestones:** Acknowledge when they find new purpose or make new friends
• **Watch for warning signs:** Depression, isolation, and excessive drinking are red flags

Day-to-day life changes when one spouse retires. Here are practical considerations.

• **Household responsibilities:** Retired spouse reasonably takes on more daytime tasks
• **Schedule coordination:** You're on work schedule; they have flexibility
• **Weekend expectations:** You may need rest; they may have plans
• **Vacation planning:** You have limited PTO; they can travel anytime
• **Social life changes:** They build new friendships; you maintain work relationships
• **Decision-making:** Both should have equal input on major decisions

While supporting your retired spouse, don't neglect your own needs.

• **Your feelings matter:** It's okay to feel envious or frustrated sometimes
• **Maintain your identity:** You're not just the breadwinner - you have your own interests
• **Set boundaries:** You can't always be available for their plans
• **Career satisfaction:** If work drains you, evaluate whether changes are possible
• **Your retirement matters:** Don't sacrifice your retirement date to over-support theirs
• **Communication:** Express your needs and feelings openly

While supporting your spouse, keep your own retirement on track.

• **Set a target date:** Know when you plan to retire, even if it's years away
• **Max your savings:** Take full advantage of 401k and catch-up contributions
• **Protect your health:** Work stress affects long-term health
• **Communicate your timeline:** Your spouse should know and support your retirement plan
• **Don't over-delay:** Working indefinitely to support their retirement isn't sustainable
• **Envision your retirement:** What will you do? Having a vision makes the goal compelling

1. 1Confirm you're on track with a financial advisor
2. 2Set a specific retirement date, even if 3-5 years away
3. 3Communicate this timeline to your retired spouse
4. 4Begin building non-work identity and activities
5. 5Plan how both retirements will work financially